Scene – home of rock star. TV interview
Host: Here we are tonight for a special occasion. The interview of Mr Cruddy Jowls, the world famous innovative musician. So Mr Jowls – or do you prefer ‘Crudd’?
Crudd: Um,…I prefer Crudd
Host: So, Crudd, people all round the world have remarked on your incredible potential to justify all means of everything ever – just by playing your guitar.
Crudd: I use a pick as well.
Crudd: Once I used a coin.
Host: Aaah…what was it like?
Crudd: Oh, - it was pretty good.
Host: Do you often use a coin?
Crudd: No, just once – I tried using a nail but I cut my finger.
Host: Did it affect your guitar playing?
Crudd: No, I still like nails
Host: Yes, err – No, I mean did the cut on your finger affect the way you could play your guitar?
Crudd: aah! Right! Umm, yeah it did. I couldn’t play as well.
Host: Right. So Mr Jowls. What are your influences?
Crudd: Well…I like yoghurt.
Host: Are they an influential band?
Crudd: No - I like yoghurt - you know - the food.
Host: So, you like yoghurt… (tentatively). Any other influences?
Crudd: Those Casio things make some pretty good beats.
Host: Casio things
Crudd: You just press a button and it goes off ay!
Host: Ummm…Mr Jowls, do you actually play guitar?
Crudd: Well I don’t use my left hand – but I sort of bash ay!
Host looks at sound man questioningly as another crew member with clipboard heads toward front door checking the address – the house is 127A – clipboard says 127B. He walks back gesturing ‘obviously wrong house’. Film crew pack up angrily and walk out. As host angrily walks out, picks up a cheap Casio thingy, smacks Crud in the head with it. Exit crew to a cheap Casio tune and they go next door.